Becoming a dad transformed my life and improved it exponentially. I could wax poetically on the subject of fatherhood, but nobody really enjoys poetic waxing, so here’s is a post on fatherhood, short and sweet.
On Father’s Day, I heard a most interesting description from a young dad interviewed on television concerning the role of a father. He said his most important job as a father was to make his children happy. He appeared resolute and extremely pleased with his definition of fatherhood. I didn’t think much about it at the time and went about my merry way.
However, over the next several weeks, this man’s belief in, and description of, fatherhood has boomeranged back into my thoughts time and time again. Truth be told, this materialistic philosophy of fatherhood began to grate on a nerve in my meager brain.
Don’t get me wrong, I have a pretty wide-open view of what it means to be a father. Dads come in all shapes and sizes. They come from all walks of life. They meet at the intersection of biologically producing children and then separate in all directions where some become FATHERS, while others fail miserably.
Confused? I don’t blame you. Fatherhood can be dicey; there is very little science to support a systematic “right” way. There is no elementary primer text available to being a dad, no Dad Licensing Bureau, no cheat sheet or Cliffs Notes on the path to becoming a good father.
Yet two things are evident: a father plays a vital role in the family unit and this role needs to be emphasized and nurtured to a higher degree in our modern society. Even in non-traditional families or those affected by divorce or separation, there still exists a vital role for a father.
Being a dad is important.
Being a father grounded in faith helps one navigate the rocky path of family life.
A few philosophical ideas came to my mind as I pondered upon the young dad’s belief the role of a father is, first and foremost, to make one’s children happy.
- Instead of placing the focus on trying to make your kids happy, show them how to be happy in the way you choose to approach life.
- Show them faith is an important part of happiness. Above all things, be faithful to God, spouse, and family.
- Show them how to live faithful and joyful; show them faithful living is more than just one hour on Sunday morning.
- Show them the happiness in being present in the family, mentally, emotionally, and physically.
- Show them prayer, gratitude, and humility.
We fathers need to take pride in our duty as Catholic and Christian dads. Attack your vocation as a parent and work constantly to improve. Jump into family life headfirst and become fully submerged; don’t sit on the sideline and merely observe.
Being a dad is one of the most spiritual and fulfilling things in life. It is worth every effort sacrificed, even those dirty diapers, those school fine-arts programs, and those late nights waiting and worrying for teenagers still out and about.
Onward and upward, fathers!
Copyright © 2013, Mike Hays
Mike Hays
Mike Hays is a husband, a father of three, a lifelong Kansan and works as a molecular microbiologist. Besides writing, he has been a high school strength and conditioning coach, a football coach and a baseball coach. His debut middle grade historical fiction novel, THE YOUNGER DAYS, is a 2012 recipient of The Catholic Writer's Guild Seal of Approval Award. You can find it at the publisher's website or on Amazon.
2 responses to “Fatherhood, Short and Sweet”
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Mike, thank you for your thoughts on being a dad, and thank you for being a dad with a truly Catholic commitment. I am a dad of two adult sons, and I struggle today to repair the damage done by me earlier in my life when I was not strong enough in my faith, and not strong enough as a dad.
But I offer this story as an example of how badly fatherhood is being attacked today. A few months ago I received an email from my older sister to let me know of an upcoming baby shower for my niece. My reply was “Baby? Come Again!?!”. My sister’s daughter is the lady to whom I refer as my “Vegan, Lesbian, Episcopalian Priest Niece”. The email response included that Kate was carrying twins after IVF procedures. I said, “Nice! Who’s the father? The one-word response was, “Anonymous!”
I believe that neither my sister nor her daughter understand just how degrading this is for “Anonymous”, for the twins in utero, for me, for my father, and for all men. And I don’t even know how to start that conversation.
And then there’s another reality that I’m sure they will not address. How many of my sister’s grandchildren were “selectively reduced”, culled and then killed, and now reside eternally in God’s care.
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