We’re so used to getting what we want when we want it, myself included. And I’ve written before about how we get caught up in the details, and this can cause us to stray from a path of non-judgment and love. Often, we take our frustrations out on our priests.
I get it. Priests are human. They get cranky, some have difficult personalities, and when they are pastors, they often make decisions we don’t agree with. This opens them up to attacks and criticisms, and responses are often out of proportion to the alleged offense.
As the shepherd, the pastor is responsible for the souls in his care. ALL of them. He sees more of the problems that are plaguing the parish than any one parishioner can possibly know. He hears the painful situations that afflict the penitents in the confessional and those parishioners he sees in private appointments or speaks with on the phone. He must guide and respond as he sees fit to fulfill his mission to get us into relationship with Jesus and on the path to Heaven.
And he’s probably tired. Our priests often work 14-hour days, and that doesn’t include the people who stop them on the way to their car at the end of the night to ask a “quick question” or the calls they must respond to in the middle of the night. They must act as administrators of the parish and also administer the sacraments. They must be compassionate when they are feeling sick from illness or feeling down because a loved one has passed away. They must give homilies that address the person experiencing his or her first Catholic Mass as well as those who have the Catechism memorized. They must be superhuman, and it’s only possible through grace, but that doesn’t make it easy.
When you attack a priest, either through direct confrontation or subversively through gossip, you attack one who has been called by Jesus to be a living icon of Christ’s spousal relationship with His Church. Not something to be taken lightly. If you are confused or distraught over something the priest has said or done, there are ways to approach the situation.
- Don’t assume you know the whole story. Maybe the priest is responding to a directive from his superior. Maybe he’s had a bad experience that is informing how he is handling the situation this time. Maybe there are people involved that you know nothing about (and it’s none of your business). Ask God for the gifts of humility and obedience.
- Talk to him about it. There may be something that you consider so serious that you need to speak with him about it. Don’t discuss the situation with three people first, don’t run to the media, and don’t post your concerns on your social media site. Treat him with the same respect you think you deserve.
- If you still have concerns, tell him you are going to take your question to the next level. Don’t go behind his back; don’t rush straight to the pope. If you aren’t comfortable telling him that you’re going to talk to his superior, then you probably shouldn’t be doing it.
- Pray for him, and practice a little mercy. Priests are human beings, and human beings make mistakes. And while you’re at it, pray for guidance for yourself. God might tell you to let it go.
While we don’t want to worship our priests, they are due the respect of their vocation. When townspeople went to St. Francis and complained that their priest was having an illicit relationship with a woman, they brought Francis before him, hoping he would chastise the priest. Instead, the saint fell on his knees and kissed the priest’s hands, saying, “All I know and all I want to know is that these hands give me Jesus.” While we don’t need to fall on our knees in front of our pastor–and we would probably unnerve him if we did–it’s good to keep our priorities straight.
We need our shepherds.
They need our love. They need our prayers.
Offer a Rosary for your priests. Offer up your suffering. Say a Divine Mercy chaplet. Say a personal prayer. Start to see them through the eyes of Jesus, and ask that you not judge them, criticize them, or add unnecessarily to their burdens.
If you want to take your commitment to priests to the next level, I encourage you to consider getting involved with the Foundation of Prayer for Priests. This is a Eucharistic and Marian apostolate that prays for priests.
© Jacqueline Vick, 2016
Jacqueline Vick
Jacqueline Vick is a devout Catholic, wife to a wonderful guy, pet parent to a troubled mutt, and mystery writer. Her website is www.jacquelinevick.com.
One response to “Priests Need Your Love and Prayers, Not Your Criticism”
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Great piece and great advice.
But same goes for laypeople, it seems to me… 🙂