With a loud cry Jesus died. Mark 15: 37
Apart from all else that could be said about his passion, what strikes me today is that Jesus cried out. I find it reassuring that—even though he rose to new life in victory—he wasn’t above crying out as he died.
Jesus told us we need to die to ourselves in order to follow him. We believe His promise that if we lose our lives we will gain them, but dying to self still hurts. We don’t have to pretend we’re above the pain. It’s okay to admit it.
Opportunities to give up self-will, in both large and small ways, are all around. Sometimes I’m oblivious to them. Other times I’m aware of the opportunities but choose my own will anyway. Occasionally I let go of trying to get my way. I’m always relieved when I finally surrender, but no matter how many times things work out, self-will is always waiting to spring back up next time. “Self” never goes down without a fight—even over the most trivial things.
During a hurricane a few years ago, our house lost power for days. It got pretty cold. My husband, temporarily out of state on business, asked me to come join him. I resisted. I wanted to tough it out at home. We bickered for two days. Finally, I agreed to pray about it. After praying, I saw that there was no good reason—other than stubborn pride—for me to stay in a house without power. I also saw my selfishness in not considering my husband’s feelings. He was worried about me but I was too centered on proving my resilience to see it. I had to surrender my ego-driven fear of being a wimp and taking the easy way out.
Surrendering my willful pride enabled me to join my husband until our power came back on. Those days together out of town blessed both of us. He felt relieved. I had access to hot water and hot meals. Our marriage grew stronger as I learned, once again, to let go of self.
Prayer: Lord, grant us the courage to face the pain of dying to self.
Reflection for sharing: When is it hardest to say no to your self-will? How can Jesus’ example strengthen you?
Copyright 2016, Barbara Hosbach
Barbara Hosbach
Barbara Hosbach, freelance writer, is co-chair of the CJ Chapter of the Catholic Writers Guild and member of the Catholic Press Association. Hosbach’s articles have appeared in a number of Catholic periodicals. Her latest book, Your Faith Has Made You Well: Jesus Heals in the New Testament, explores what happened when Jesus healed and what it means for us today. Your Faith Has Made You Well: Jesus Heals in the New Testament and Fools, Liars, Cheaters, and Other Bible Heroes
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