“Don’t be angry with someone for every little thing he does wrong. Don’t do anything out of injured pride.” Sirach 10: 6
It’s the little annoying things that can drive us up the wall. “Why can’t you ever come the first time I tell you dinner’s ready?” “Do you know you left the laundry room light on—again? It was on all night.” “Why do you always have to leave your dirty dishes in the sink when the dishwasher is RIGHT THERE?”
Constantly pointing out annoying behaviors only contributes to the friction. After all, nagging is annoying, too. Besides, people tune us out when we harp on the same thing over and over again. On the other hand, trying to rise above minor irritations doesn’t always work. When we stuff our feelings down, they can fester and build until they explode. That leads to hurt feelings, damaged relationships, and maybe guilt—or at least embarrassment—about over-reacting.
So what can we do instead? Sirach offers us a clue when he warns us about pride. What does pride have to do with being annoyed? There’s a sense of superiority in pointing an accusing finger at someone else’s fault—especially a fault we don’t happen to share. It gives our egos the illusion of moral high ground.
How can we be honest about what we’re feeling without judging others? Maybe as we explore our feelings we can follow through by acknowledging our own weaknesses. Maybe something like: Okay, I’m really ticked off that he interrupted me mid-sentence again, but let’s remember I do annoying things, too. How often has he complained that I come home late without calling? And yeah, he put the milk carton back in the fridge with just two drops of milk in it yet again, but who banged his head on the cabinet door because I left it open? Our comfortable habits might just be somebody else’s pet peeves.
Sirach also points out our mortality. “We are only dust and ashes; what have we got to be proud of? …Even a king may be alive today and dead tomorrow.” (Sirach 10: 9-10) Life’s too short to dwell on the things that annoy us. Do we really want to squander precious time judging others? Lent begins with an Ash Wednesday reminder of our mortality and human limitations. Lent is also a good time to turn our attention away from other people’s shortcomings and face our own. As we recognize our need for mercy in our day-to-day lives, we become aware of the gift of mercy God offers us through his Son. Even with all our faults, God looks at us with eyes of love. When we remember this, it’s easier to look at others with those same eyes of love.
Prayer: Lord, may we forgive as we are forgiven.
Reflection: What habits of yours might be annoying to others? Are you willing to ask God to help you change? What else are you willing to do?
Barbara Hosbach
Barbara Hosbach, freelance writer, is co-chair of the CJ Chapter of the Catholic Writers Guild and member of the Catholic Press Association. Hosbach’s articles have appeared in a number of Catholic periodicals. Her latest book, Your Faith Has Made You Well: Jesus Heals in the New Testament, explores what happened when Jesus healed and what it means for us today. Your Faith Has Made You Well: Jesus Heals in the New Testament and Fools, Liars, Cheaters, and Other Bible Heroes
2 responses to “Annoyances”
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Barbara:
This always hits close to home!
The other verse that comes to mind is Mathew 7:5
http://biblehub.com/drb/matthew/7.htm
God bless!
Luciano
So true, Luciano. Working on the logs in our own eyes should keep us too busy to worry about others’ faults. Thanks for sharing.