Faith when we need it most - New Evangelizers

The Lord says, “Small and weak as you are, Israel, don’t be afraid; I will help you. I, the holy God of Israel, am the one who saves you.” Isaiah 41:14

Ever walk through a labyrinth? Early points along the path seem very near the center but twists along the way make it seem as if we’re farther from the goal—even though we’re actually progressing. Similarly, our faith may be growing stronger when we feel weakest.

My understanding of faith has changed over the years. Years ago, I thought faith meant giving up trying to control this person or that situation and trusting God instead. Things would work out one way or another. This letting go and trusting God really works, I’d think. My joy and gratitude were real, but, after all, I was still in control of what I let go and when.

Then, in 1992, a tractor trailer hit my car and disabled me for months. The following year I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. Periods of incapacity terrified me—especially the episodes that happened while I was living alone. That’s when I discovered the selective letting go I’d done previously was nowhere near the level of surrender needed when—without my permission—circumstances were wrenched completely beyond my control.

Physical disability taught me that what I’d really relied on previously had been my own ability to take care of myself. Complete dependence on God and the people he put in my path scared me. I felt weak, helpless, and far away from God. Despair overwhelmed me, yet somehow I was given the strength to get through one more hour, one more day, one more week. Even though my personal resources were non-existent, I was brought through those physical and emotional challenges. That’s how I know it was God’s doing, not mine. God has gotten me through the worst fear, pain, and harrowing experiences of my life. I felt weak and far away from God during those times, but I believe I was really growing closer to him.

It’s safe to admit our weaknesses because it’s God’s strength that helps and saves us, not our own. Feeling brave or confident doesn’t prove our faith. Faith doesn’t depend on feelings because God is bigger than our feelings. Feeling small and weak—or even terrified—and hanging in there anyway is when our faith lets God be God.

 Reflection:  When have you felt vulnerable or afraid? What brought you through it? Can you see God’s hand protecting and leading you through that experience? What does that say about God’s ability to help and save you in your next challenge?

Copyright 2015, Barbara Hosbach

Barbara Hosbach

Barbara Hosbach, freelance writer, is co-chair of the CJ Chapter of the Catholic Writers Guild and member of the Catholic Press Association. Hosbach’s articles have appeared in a number of Catholic periodicals. Her latest book, Your Faith Has Made You Well: Jesus Heals in the New Testament, explores what happened when Jesus healed and what it means for us today. Your Faith Has Made You Well: Jesus Heals in the New Testament and Fools, Liars, Cheaters, and Other Bible Heroes