“I will lead the blind by a way they do not know, In paths they do not know I will guide them. I will make darkness into light before them, and rugged places into plains. These are the things I will do, and I will not leave them undone.”
Isaiah 42:16
Just as our ancient ancestors were led out of captivity and into the freedom of the Lord, I too seek the Lord to lead me from my own personal captivity; my own personal blindness; the abyss of my own making.
At times I feel as if I am making my way walking in complete darkness. Feeling and touching my surroundings trying to discern what they are and figure out a way to overcome these obstacles placed before me. Slowly I place one foot before the next not knowing how close or how far I am from the edge of a steep cliff. Thinking and worrying that my next step will be my last.
I rely on all of my senses. Straining them to exhaustion simply to make several feet of head way. I can feel the blood slowly dripping down my body from wounds I earn while stumbling and falling and trying to get up again. All the while, I’m asking myself, “Is it worth it?” Is it worth continuing my journey in this state? Should I simply give up and sit here with the hope that someone will notice that I am missing and come to find me….or if not…I do not want to even think about that potential eventuality…if no one finds me..what then? Am I losing hope?
In the utter darkness I feel a gentle nudge…and then another ..and yet still another. I feel a push and a tug yet I feel no one around me. Where am I to go? I resist for I do not know where I am going. I dig in my heals but to no avail. Slowly I am being moved forward. I dig in deeper. I yell, “Stop it!…Let me be!” …and I am left alone.
As I sit in my darkness I ask myself who was it that was nudging me and why? I am sitting here in the dark. I was hoping to be found. When I was found, I resisted out of fear. I realize now that I am worse off than before. My only chance at freedom and I let it go by.
I call out, “Hello…Are you still here?” I hear no response.
Again I call out a little louder, “Hello! …Are you still here?” Again no answer. I am in utter despair. I suddenly realize my mistake. How could I have let such an opportunity go by? How stupid of me! What an ignorant person I have been. Out of fear I have sentenced myself to death! Life was at my doorstep and I failed to answer the call!
At my deepest point of desperation, I feel a hand slide into mine. I jerk it away in terror. Again I feel a hand slide into mine but I also feel another one on my shoulder helping me up. I slowly allow myself to be helped up. I can feel myself being slowly pulled forward. This time, though hesitantly, I allow myself to follow. Whoever is pulling me along understands my hesitation and is being patient with me. I ask the person who is pulling me, “Where we are going?” But I get no response. I think to myself, “He seems to know where he is going and we have yet to stumble.” I allow myself to be led.
Despite walking for quite some time I am still in darkness, but I am with someone who seems to know the way and we have not encountered any danger. I still do not understand why he will not speak to me. We are now walking at a brisk pace and I have become accustomed to our movements together. I finally notice, ever so tiny, a speck of light! With determination I walk forward with confidence. As we approach the small speck of light, I feel my hand being let go and a strong push on my back. I run forward towards the light. I can see it clearly now… small… but clearly a light.
In my excitement I trip and fall over something. I hear a groan and another voice call out, “Help me!… I am lost.” I walk over to the voice and gently slip my hand into his, “Follow with me,” I say. We both start making our way to the light.
In reality, at times, I am walking in darkness while I see all around me – in daylight. How can I be so blind in such light? Why can’t I understand that which is plainly before my very eyes? My body goes through its motions, but my soul remains dark. It allows no light in. It is of my own doing…Goodness…I just felt a nudge!
Copyright 2014, Luciano Corbo
Luciano Corbo
Luciano Corbo holds a Master of Arts - Integrated Studies from Athabasca University. His major interests are Culture, Work, Organizations and Leadership, within a context of Catholic Social Teaching Principles. He writes from Canada.
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