The Feet Washing

I dread the trip from Dallas to Palm Springs to care for my sister, Betty Clare (BC to the family), who is recuperating from cancer surgery. Our dysfunctional relationship, although healing some since our mother’s death, still has echoes of past pitfalls. We don’t agree on politics, abortion, gay marriage, or the Eucharist.

When I cry out to the Lord, he consoles me, empowering me with a personal word that surprises me, “Be at peace; my mercy is with you.” Why mercy and not grace? Maybe because today begins our family’s Divine Mercy Novena.

Recent mass readings remind me that Jesus is the vine, and I must remain attached to him, for without him I can do nothing. The promise of bearing much fruit (Jn 15:1-8) to glorify the Father carries the added promise to “ask for whatever you want and it will be done for you.”

I’m asking that BC will experience the love of God through me. This will only happen if I can stay attached to the vine; that is, to God’s presence and mercy. I pray, “Lord, I have no mercy of my own. I can only give her the love and mercy you fill me with and let it overflow to her.”

He reminds me that many, many people are obedient to the Lord in showing his love to me. I can do the same – without expecting reciprocation, for I can’t out give God.

A different sister

I arrive to find BC different from my last visit almost a year ago. She is grateful, disciplined, considerate, brave and patient.

Cancer will do that. She is recovering from a double mastectomy and needs her two sisters and a cousin to take turns caring for her at home. The meals, medication, and housework are familiar duties, but not the bathing.

I help her into the shower. She washes what she can reach. Then I step into the shower with her. I wash her back, legs, and feet, working around the tubes still draining fluid.

Sharing a holy moment

Once we are dry and dressed, I rub lotion on her rough heels and tea tree oil on her ingrown toenail. I realize something: I could be washing the feet of Jesus like Mary Magdalene. BC also realizes this. We share a holy moment with the presence of the Lord blessing our relationship.

BC and I don’t share the real presence of Jesus in the Eucharist. Most likely, we never will. But his presence flows from her to me and round again, deepening our relationship with one another and God.

Washing her feet gives me a new way to bring glory to the Lord. And he tells us that this is when we can ask him for what we want. I wonder why the benefit God promises in this scripture is mercy. Is it there because when we show mercy we are inclined to ask for mercy for ourselves?

Recognizing God’s presence

Many of our family members, friends, coworkers, and neighbors don’t recognize the Lord in the breaking of the bread. But when we wash the feet of those unaware of his presence in the Eucharist, nevertheless, his presence flows through us to them. As we extend his mercy to them, we experience his mercy, while those who get a feet washing from us, experience his mercy flowing through us.

Sometimes they recognize him in that sacred moment. Sometimes not. They may doubt our motives or misread our intentions as manipulation. They may see us as naive and try to exploit us. When they suspect us, we have another way to bring them closer to the Lord indirectly. We offer our misconstrued service to him for their benefit even when they misread our intentions. We know the Lord is there, even if they don’t.

Washing the feet of God’s children gives us different methods of bringing glory to the Lord. And he tells us that this is when we can ask him for what we want. I wonder if that benefit promised in this scripture on mercy was put there because when we show mercy we are inclined to ask for mercy for ourselves?

What do you have to lose in washing the feet of those around you? What do you have to gain?

© 2015 Nancy H C Ward

Nancy Ward

Nancy HC Ward, author of Sharing Your Catholic Faith Story, was once a shy convert. She has spent decades writing about conversion, Christian community, and the Catholic faith. After earning a journalism degree, she worked for many years for the Texas Catholic (newspaper of the Diocese of Dallas) and the Archbishop Sheen Center for Evangelization, and later began her own editing service. An active member of the Catholic Writers Guild and a regular contributor to a number of high-profile Catholic publications online, she also has a busy blog on spirituality called Joy Alive.net. She’s a contributing author to The Catholic Mom’s Prayer Companion. Now, through her Sharing Your Catholic Faith Story workshops, retreats, book, and DVD, she shares her conversion story at Catholic parishes and conferences, equipping others to share their own stories.