Helpfulness - New Evangelizers

Help others and you will be helped. Proverbs 11: 25b

We can’t help others without helping ourselves. Helping others gives us a sense of purpose. It makes us feel useful, maybe even important. Reaching out to others generates good will. Even when others don’t—or can’t—reciprocate, we can feel good about the kinds of choices we’ve made. Maybe we feel gratified at the chance to “pay it forward” in return for a kindness we’ve received.

We all need help at times. It is right and good to lend a hand when needed. It’s also reassuring to participate in creating the kind of mutually supportive community we’d like to believe is possible.

Unfortunately, sometimes what we call “helping” is an attempt to interfere and/or control other people or situations. It’s a mistake to do for others what they can and should be doing for themselves. We might think we’re helping others while instead sending the message that we’re more competent than they are. We may be preventing them from standing on their own two feet. We may be depriving them of the opportunity to develop the sense of self-esteem that comes from working through a challenge or the chance to learn from their mistakes. Although our egos might feel gratified, we haven’t truly helped others or ourselves.

Prayer: Lord, give me the wisdom to know when and how to help.

Reflection: When has helping someone else helped you? When has being “helpful” backfired?

© Barbara Hosbach

Barbara Hosbach

Barbara Hosbach, freelance writer, is co-chair of the CJ Chapter of the Catholic Writers Guild and member of the Catholic Press Association. Hosbach’s articles have appeared in a number of Catholic periodicals. Her latest book, Your Faith Has Made You Well: Jesus Heals in the New Testament, explores what happened when Jesus healed and what it means for us today. Your Faith Has Made You Well: Jesus Heals in the New Testament and Fools, Liars, Cheaters, and Other Bible Heroes