Homosexuality: a journey from “tolerance” to love

Homosexuality: a journey from “tolerance” to love

When I was an atheist, I despised homosexuals; I found them odd and perverse. Today, I have a more inclusive view of the human family but I will not change my Facebook profile picture to that pink and red equal sign to support “marriage equality.” Yes, it is possible to love people while disagreeing with some things they do or desire.

Before my conversion, I thought that AIDS was a well-deserved punishment for the gay character in the movie Philadelphia. According to the principles of “tolerance” I was living by, homosexuals were free to do whatever they wanted as long as they kept it quiet and hidden. If they caught AIDS, were robbed, raped, or beaten, I wasn’t the one to call for help.

After all, no one worried about my abusive boyfriends and post-abortion suffering. With multiples partners, I too was having my share of AIDS testing scares. Why should I have cared if others were sick, poor, or attacked? It was my choice, and it was their choice.

Freedom of choice comes with a price and if I had to face my consequences, so should they face theirs.

At the time, I thought I was a good person, but my life was the opposite of Christian charity. The Church takes care of the poor, the sick, and the abandoned without discrimination and is a refuge for sinners. She also calls homosexual persons to chastity (CCC 2359).

When I converted, I finally saw my selfishness and my flaws but also my God-given dignity and the dignity of each person, even those I disagree with. Who am I to decide that because someone sins differently, I should walk away when they need a friend?

After the recent Boston Marathon bombings, I wept and prayed for the victims and I truly didn’t care if they were pro-abortion or gay activists. They were my brothers and sisters, struck by a violent tragedy.

Today, if we say that marriage is between a man and a woman and is procreative, we are considered backwards and “haters.” Yet, because Jesus and His Church made me a more compassionate person, because I read about this subject a lot including research about what causes same-sex attraction, I have some questions:

  • What about people with unwanted same sex attraction? Do they have the right to share their stories?
  • What does same sex marriage mean to those with multiple partners and those who don’t identify with a particular gender?
  • What about same-sex attachment disorder and the success of reparative therapy? (see NARTH)
  • What about the link between being abused as a child abuse and becoming homosexual, research on promiscuity, the spreading of STDs, and other physical and psychological health risks? (see Dr. Janet Smith’s presentation)

In the same-sex marriage debate, there is a lot emotion and ideology. There are also suffering, research we shouldn’t ignore, and no “one size fits all” individuals. Beyond one’s sexuality, let us not fail to see the struggles, the beauty, and the value of each person.

Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI, in his first homily in 2005, gave us this reminder of how we should see others: “We are not some casual and meaningless product of evolution. Each of us is the result of a thought of God. Each of us is willed, each of us is loved, each of us is necessary.”

While we don’t have to support everything they do or desire, let us be kind and respectful to our homosexual brothers and sisters and by our attitude, let us share the Gospel with them.

Copyright © 2013, Beatrice Fedor

Beatrice Fedor

Beatrice Fedor

Beatrice Fedor is French and lives in South Carolina. She is married and has three children with her husband Michael. She is a Pro-Life activist involved with the Silent No More Awareness Campaign. She enjoys writing, running, cooking and blogs on women's issues at 400wordsforwomen.com.

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